Meg’s Transformation Scene 22

“Had there been anything else to stand out?”
“Probably. But my brain is so frazzled that I can barely think.”
“Why don’t you take me through the chain of events on the day leading up to the attack?”
Megan took a deep breath. “OK. I can do that.”
When she finished explaining, she put her hands on her head and pulled at her hair. Helen glanced at her and smiled.
“What?” Megan asked. “Am I crazy?”
The counselor giggled. “No. Not at all. Even though ‘crazy’ is a made up term, I’d still say you weren’t. In fact, I’d say you are a very healthy sensitive, alert young woman.”
Megan blushed ever so slightly. “Oh. Thanks. Then why don’t I feel like that?”
“You’re regressing,” Helen explained.
“Huh?”
“You’re relationship with Ted, you’re feelings towards home, all of that changed when you went to college.”
“But I LIKED college,” Megan protested.
“I’m sure that you do. But you also liked the way things were before you left…and think that you still do. It’s conflict: on the one hand, you want to grow and move on, but on the other hand, you wished things remained the same. College satisfied one desire, but placed a nearly impossible burden upon the other.”
Megan nodded emphatically. That seemed to make perfect sense. In her dreams, everything was as it was. Just yesterday, she found herself wishing things could stay the same.
“As a result of this inner struggle, you’ve begun to identify more with your past self in an effort to overcome the burden. Wetting the bed. Lapping up ice cream. Watching cartoons. All of these are things you did as a child.”
“Yeah…you’re right,” Meg remarked. She didn’t know what to make of all this.
“Ted is a source of grief for you because he represents both the past and the present. He WAS your boyfriend, he IS your friend. When you tried to show affection and win him back, you were identifying with the past. When you tried to accept his friendship or even push away, you were identifying with the present. You are, my dear, quite sadly torn between the two.”
“So how do I stop it?” Megan asked pleadingly.
“I’d imagine it’d correct itself in time. This regression….it’s just a way of coping with the adjustment your life is undergoing. As soon as you either overcome your internal fear that the past will be lost or come to more readily accept and desire the present, the behavior will likely stop. My guess is you’ll find yourself in a much more comfortable state of being when you go back to college.”
“Ugh, I can’t wait that long,” Meg complained. “What am I going to do until then?”
“You’ll continue to regress, I’d imagine.”
“But I don’t want to…at least…. I don’t think I don’t.”
“There’s no harm in it, really. So maybe you find yourself playing with dolls one day or watching old home movies or things like that. Would that be the worst thing in the world, Megan?”
“No, but…”
“Yes?”
“You’re saying it’s OK to keep doing this?”
“Within reason…absolutely.”